He is here and our hearts are full. I am the luckiest.
We welcomed Baby Jacob Asher into our family just 2.5 short weeks ago and life will never, ever be the same. I’m typing this with the most amazing baby cuddled on my chest, and still reveling in the fact that I get to be his mama. Five years of waiting, six miscarriages, 3 failed adoptions, and they have all brought us to this sweet boy. God is so good. Jacob is a happy baby; full of smiles and funny expressions, a dark head of hair, a beautiful tan, incredibly observant with his big eyes that seem like they are staring so intently at you, and he loves to “talk” to us as he tells us about his day. We are completely smitten by this little man.
We’re thankful for so many things, but mostly that God has connected us with this precious baby and his sweet birth mother, Izzy. She chose us to be his parents and I still get emotional thinking about her decision and trust in us. Saying goodbye to her and her family at the hospital when we took him home nearly broke my heart when I thought about how she must be feeling, but let me tell you about his amazing birth mother. She is proud of him and her decision. We hope we can raise him in a way that never lets her doubt her choice.
Izzy is loving and brave and so wonderful. She loves this little boy so much. He is hers in a way that we’ll never have, but he’s also ours in a way she won’t have. Together, we are his parents, both by birth and adoption, and he is “ours”. We will always be brought together by this boy that we all love, and we are thankful to have her join our family. He is so very special to have so many people that care about him; his birth family, his adoptive family, and all of our friends.
There are so many big things swirling around inside of me… hope, uncertainty, thankfulness, love, and even a little fear that something still might go wrong. In Wisconsin, adoption is a long process. Parental rights of the birth parents need to be (voluntarily) terminated at a court hearing, then we have a six month waiting period with visits from the social worker before we can petition the courts for adoption finalization. So he’s ours in our hearts and in our home, but not completely ours in the eyes of the law… yet. I wonder if I’ll breathe easy until the day everything is finalized? We have waited so very long for him that it’s scary to think something still may go wrong. But if he is meant to be ours, everything will work out.
This only scratches the surface of what I wanted to share with you today, but since I’ve started this blog post three separate times and still haven’t quite found the right words, I hope you can still share our joy, our apprehension, and know how thankful we are feeling. This song keeps swirling around in my mind so I’m sharing a few of the lyrics:
“The Luckiest” by Ben Folds
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am