Follow up: Our Journey to Adoption

It’s now been four days since I shared our story of hope and loss.  And, I have to tell you, it’s been an amazing four days.  The outpouring of messages, emails, comments, and all the sharing of our Facebook page, this blog, and our adoption site has far exceeded my hopes.


The interesting thing is how much I’ve been reassured that sharing our intensely personal and emotional story was the right thing to do.  I should tell you that I cried while I was writing and then again before I published the blog post.  I was shaking as I shared it on Facebook.  I almost chickened out and told Ben that I didn’t think I could do it.  But I did.  And because I did, I have been blessed beyond measure.  So many of you shared your own stories, your messages of hope, and your encouragement.  I still can’t fathom how many complete strangers went out of their way to share our page and contact me!  There truly are so many GOOD people in this world who have opened their hearts to us.  It’s amazing.  One incredibly special thing that I’ve appreciated is how many of you thanked me for sharing.  Knowing that my words have provided comfort and inspiration to some of you makes my heart especially happy.



There have been a number of questions  about our plans and thought processes, so I thought I’d share a few more things here.


Regarding the type of adoption we are considering, I want to share that we are still looking at options.  There are so many decisions to make in terms of adoption.  Financial aspects very greatly, and finances are something we need to be conscious of.  Timing is also something we are taking into consideration.  While I’m not sure we are emotionally ready for a baby in two weeks, we also aren’t thrilled with the thought of waiting several more years for our placement. After all, this is the beginning of our fourth year of trying to start a family.  This reminds of that quote from “When Harry Met Sally”.  (Love that movie!)

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,

you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”


We had a great meeting with an adoption agency (Catholic Charities in La Crosse, WI) and will be meeting with one more agency this week to make sure we choose the best fit for us.  As I mentioned before, we are exploring the possibility of finding a child on our own, independently.  This could be done in conjunction with an agency and right now we’re planning on moving forward with both options; independent and agency.  Several people have sent resources for other agencies, but many of these agencies don’t cover our area.


And, just to throw it out there, we’re still looking into the Foster-to-adopt or Special Needs adoption through the state.  At this time, I think we are not leaning as strongly towards this last option, but we aren’t ruling it out.  And part of me really loves the thought of adopting through the foster system at some point. But, more than likely, it won’t be right now.  Our comfort level as a couple simply isn’t at a point where this seems like our best option, but we are continuing to look into adopting through the state.  I did have a high school friend share her experience with Special Needs adoption; her experience was fantastic and encouraging.  There were also a few people who sent messages that thought this was the route we SHOULD be taking.  While I don’t feel it’s necessary to share our reasoning, I will say that this doesn’t seem to be the best fit for us at this time.  In the future, I’d love to explore this idea more.


I’ve also had a few people ask about surrogacy.  Additionally, I have some amazing friends (including someone I haven’t spoken with in over 20 years) who have offered to be surrogates for us.  That is such a loving and generous offer and so appreciated.  Offering something like is such a selfless gift.  Wow. But due to our situation (both fertility-wise and financially), I don’t think this is a great option for us. If anyone out there is interested in this option, please feel free to contact me.  I may be able to connect you with a potential surrogate mother.


Lastly, we’re leaning away from international adoption.  This is interesting to me, because a few years ago when we first discussed adoption, that was the route that Ben thought he’d want to go.  But now we both feel that adopting domestically is what we were meant to do.  Unless God does a major change of heart for us, I doubt we’d feel any differently.  With that said, I have some friends and acquaintances who have had fantastic experiences with their international adoptions.  Their families are perfect and this is a great option for so many people.  I could understand why so many people choose this option.


Well, I will just share a few quick facts before I end this blog post.  🙂  These numbers were staggering to me and are kind of fun.  Plus, I can thank so many of you reading this post for your help with the following things:


  • 396 “likes” on Facebook
  • 3,800 unique visitors to this blog
  • 13,100 page views on our adoption site
  • One request to share our story as a guest blogger on the Adoption Resources of Wisconsin blog.  (I’m a volunteer photographer with them already!)  You can view their blog HERE.   I’ll be sharing other parts of our adoption journey, and I’m thrilled to help others in the way that I’ve been helped to get to this point.
  • The social workers at both the private agency and at our county that I’ve been working with actually had our blog pop up in their Facebook news feed.  Thanks to all who shared!  It’s so exciting to know that our story is making it’s rounds across the area. Well, the whole country really.  And Canada.  🙂  I’m so hopeful this will be how we start our family!
  • I also had a message from my high school English teacher who said she was proud of my writing skills.  Holy smokes, that’s awesome.  It only took me 12 years past graduation to earn my “A”.  🙂  Ha.
I also wanted to share part of a message that struck a deep chord within me.
One friend said:
“I will never ever be that person to say that it’s God’s plan that all the sadness and sorrow happens. I do say, with total conviction, that God works it all to his glory. Like you mentioned, these trying times breaks your faith and builds it…I imagine this journey will be the greatest testament with those you meet, those you touch, those who just happen to cross paths with the both of you. God’s design is always interesting, isn’t it? :0)”

With hope,

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